Journal 9: letter to self

Dear Emily,

I hope that you made the most out of your study abroad experience. I hope that you didn’t hold back and that you tried everything that was possible. Don’t hold back because you are worried about spending money but still be smart with your money. I hope that you make the most out of the time with the people going because you guys are such a small group. I hope that you guys are scared to try stuff (food, activities, and much more) because you are scared to venture out of your comfort zone. You have to try things that scare you the most (like heights) and try and conquer them. Go zip-lining and don’t worry about what others think. Make yourself at home while still being respectful because you are Costa Rican and do belong there. I know you are worried about not fitting in because you haven’t been back and you have an accent but that is something that can change. You are part of the culture and the people and you have so much family that supports you there. Don’t be afraid while you are there to say you were born there and are one of them, don’t be ashamed to show off both sides of yourself like you are here at home. Make yourself proud. You will miss Tim and the girls but you can do it and they will wait right here when you get back. Don’t be scared that they won’t be with you and they will all be at the airport when you land. You will miss them but that is part of the experience and think about the research you will be doing there to distract yourself. You got the grant you know your research and you are smart. You need to gather your data and talk to local natives for it but you got it. Look how far and much you have accomplished just this one year at NCC and how strong you are. This was a very shitty year from the start but you get to focus on school while in Costa Rica and your internship will go fine. You are super friendly and know the language you will do great!

I want you to focus on yourself while you are there and focus on connecting with the country that you were forced to leave at such a young age. You can enjoy yourself and relax and live in the sunshine when it starts to get cold here. Enjoy the temperature, the weather, the people, the food, and so much more. Be happy and grateful that you have this opportunity that some would love to have. You are a hard-worker and a motivated student and will be great in all aspects of being there. Make the most out of the time you are there and enjoy things that you can’t in the US. Don’t worry about Papi and all his nonsense and make this trip about you not like the others have been for him. But mostly, this is your trip and get this thesis work done because you don’t want to procrastinate and do it all when you get back. Stay happy and strong.